Unexpected Use of the Sit Command
by ALiC.P
Summary: NOT INU/SESS YAOI. Kagome tries to kill two birds with one stone with her "sit" command, but something unintended happens when she says it... Oops? one-shot.


Hi. This is my 4th fanfic; 3rd for Inuyasha. Now this idea I came up with like 2-3 years ago, and I asked/told my friends about it. Like the title says this is about an Unexpected Use of the "Sit" Command. Enjoy!

• *within asterisks= sound effects* • _Italicized= thinking _•

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Inuyasha's group crosses paths with Sesshōmaru's group on their journeys to find Naraku. They both stop and glare at each other, both bark out some insults to one another until they place their right hands on their swords. Inu on Tetsusaiga; Sess on Tokijin. Sess makes one last nasty comment about Inu being a half-breed before - -

They draw! Swords *CLANK!*

Kagome and the others join up with Rin, Jaken, and Ah-Un. They all look at each other, all *_SIGH_* and bow their heads.

*Clank, Clank, Clank* "Is that all you've got ya' stupid jackass!?" "No. Keep your guard up, half-breed!" *Clank!*

Kagome- _Are they really going to do this __**every single **__time they see each other?_ She stares on at the brothers as they cross swords,dodge, leap, etc. - - - again. _Why can't they at least call a truce to stop fighting, at the very least to save it for after Naraku dies? I mean I don't see them actually acting all affectionate to each other, but to just stop the intention to kill each other, that would be progress._

Sango: "There at it again. Why can't they settle this by actually having a conversation with each other?"

Miroku: "They're both hot-tempered and immature." Jaken: "How dare you call Lord Sesshōmaru immature?!" Shippō: "You know it's true, Jaken." "Why- I-I…." *_si-i-le-e-ence_*

Rin: "Lady Kagome?" "Yeah?" "Lord Sesshōmaru and Lord Inuyasha are brothers, so why aren't they nicer to each other? Brothers are supposed to like each other, it's fine that they fight every once in awhile, but not so much, or like this. Do you think that there's anyway to stop them?"

Kagome puts her hands on her hips, "Well, I can stop Inuyasha, but then that would leave him open. And I'm pretty sure that Sesshōmaru would use that opportunity to kill him. So…." _What can we do?_

Inu and Sess stand, glares at the other, some cuts are on both there bodies, but it's not deep.

Inu: "Wind Scar!" *vwoosh!* Sess raises his sword and fires Tokijin. The attacks collide, *EXPOLSION!* Smoke clears, they charge again and as they do Sess leaps into the air and descends upon Inu who raises Tetsusaiga above him, his left hand supporting the opposite end of the sword, *CLANK!* Sparks fly.

Kagome's eyes widen. *Idea!* "I got it!" Everyone looks at her- "Huh??" "I know how to stop them! Both of them!" Shippō: "Really, Kagome? How?" "You'll see. I just need to wait for the right moment."

She watches the fight. Sword clanking, occasional attacks with the claws, leaping, dodging, more growling and insults. Then Kagome sees the opportune moment.

Inu leaps into the air in to strike Sess from above. He leaps. Kagome- _This is it!_

She waits until Inu is directly above Sess. "Prepare to die, Sesshōmaru!"

Kagome- _Now!! _"SIT BOY!!"

Inu- _Uh??!! _He falls, Sess' eyes widen.

*CRASH!!* Tetsusaiga and Tokijin go flying out of their respective owners hands. The dirt clears and everyone gazes, amazed.

Miroku: "L-lady Kagome, you, you- - " Kagome turns around and gives a 'victory' sign, "Yup! That's how you kill two birds with one stone!"

The group cannot see Inu's and Sess' face from the angle where they stand, they can only see their legs which are sprawled out. Sess' right leg at the farthest, Inu's left leg next to that leg on the inside of it. Inu's right leg is at the farthest opposite of Sess' right leg, with Sess' left leg next to it on the inside.

Inu is slumped over Sess, which was the point: take out Inu from the 'Sit Boy' and take Sess out when Inu fell on him.

Inu's arms are outstretched, as is Sess' right arm. White hair is draped everywhere; Sess' hair on the ground and Inu's hair a little on the ground, but mostly draped over Sess. Sess' head is pounding from having Inu slam into him then having his own head crash into the ground.

Both _feel _something. No. No. No.

They hesitantly open their eyes. No! No! There eyes open as wide as is physically possible.

They're, they're, they're …..k-kissing!!!

**"Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!" **as loud as has ever, ever, _ever _been heard

***POW!!!*** Sess' knocked-a-tooth-out punch echoes. ***POW!!! ~ POW! ~ **POW! ~ POW ~ Pow ~ pow*

Sess is on his knees, supporting himself with his right arm, he's gagging violently.

Inu rolls over after being socked off, and he also gets on his hands and knees, his elbows are bent, he's coughing purposefully and strongly.

Sess- _UGH!! NO!! NO!! AUGH, I'M GOING TO- - NO, I __**NEED **__TO THROW UP!! AAHH!!! WHY!? WHY!??!!_

Inu- _AAUUGHH!!! DISGUSTING!-DISGUSTING!-DISGUSTING! THAT'S JUST, JUST—OOHH!! _*COUGH! COUGH!* _WHY!?!? UGGH!!!_

Everyone else stares on, eyes huge. Rin: "Are they going to be okay?" Sango: "Wh-what happened?!" Kagome: "I-I – I don't know…."

*GAG!!* *COUGH, COUGH!!* "UGH!" "AAHH!" "WHY!?" "TH-THAT'S JUST SICK!!"

Inu: "I don't wanna'- I don't wanna'- I don't wanna'- " His body moves as if to throw up but nothing comes up.

Sess looks like he's about to hyperventilate, when his whole body arches and he basically throws up his guts out. Inu follow suit.

They both continue to cough and gag and spit and moan in disgust and groan in horror and gag some more until some puke comes out, and repeat.

Everyone else *STA-A-A-RE*

~~ Next time they cross paths ~~

Inu and Sess stare at each other, not glare, stare. They recall last time and both violently shiver as though Death had just touched them.

Sess: "Let's go" Rin: "Already?" Jaken: "You're not going to confront Inuyasha?" He doesn't answer, just walks away.

Inu: "Let's get the hell outta' here." Kagome: "What? No fighting or arguing?" No answer, just walks away.

Sango whispers to Kagome, "It seems as though your 'sit' worked on both of them." "Yeah, but what do you think happened last time?" Shippō: "Who knows."

Rin: "Lord Sesshōmaru, are you okay?"

Inuyasha and Sesshōmaru both desperately try to black that incident out their minds. There's no way in hell that they'll ever look at each other the same way again.

Inu & Sess- _That was __**SO **__fucking __wrong!!!__ Damn woman! Damn necklace of subjugation! Ugh! That was SO, SO, SO WRONG!!!_

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This will be the closest I shall ever write of a yaoi. EVER.

How was it? Thanks for reading!!! Read my other stuff too!! Please and Thank you!!!


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